The Hypocrisy of Applauding the Baltimore Mom While Condemning the Protesters

2015/04/30 –Ā She Matters:Ā Toya Graham was scared and desperate to save her son from the melee. The same can be said about the people in the streets of Baltimore, who are doing everything they can to save themselves.

Even before Toya Graham, the Baltimore mother of six who was captured on video ā€œdiscipliningā€ her son, began making the news rounds, she was already being hailed as a hero.

The video of her dragging her 16-year-old son, Michael, who was throwing rocks at police, from Baltimoreā€™s melee and slapping him repeatedly in the face had gone viral. Commenters e-applauded her for ā€œdoing what any good mother would do.ā€ Some called her ā€œmother of the year.ā€

Iā€™m part of the contingent that doesnā€™t think Graham was right. I was a kid who got hit, and Iā€™m in the camp that striking another personā€”especially a childā€”in anything other than self-defense is wrong.Countless studiesĀ have concluded that hitting your children doesnā€™t make them better, responsible people. After seeing Grahamā€™s reactionā€”admittedly one born out of anger and fearā€”Iā€™m not surprised that her son has a similar reaction to anger and fear: violence. The lessons you get at home are the habits you take ā€œabroad.ā€

I absolutely donā€™t think that she handled it the best way, but I think it was the best wayĀ she knew how in the moment. While I have the luxury of sitting at my laptop debating the moral quandary of it all a few days later, Graham didnā€™t have that same luxury when she spotted her son in a crowd of protesters. She wasnā€™t thinking philosophically or about what bystanders would say or whether there were cameras rolling or whether her actions would soon be viewed by an audience watching on their cellphones.

She was reacting as she thought about her son getting himself killed by police out in the streets of Baltimore. SheĀ told CBS News, ā€œI didnā€™t want him to be a Freddie Gray,ā€ referring to the 25-year-old man who died after he was seriously injured under suspicious circumstances while in police custody. Grahamā€™s fear for her son if he was anywhere near the police, much less antagonizing them, has merit.

GrahamĀ was scared and she was admittedly angry. Her only son was putting himself in harmā€™s way, and undoubtedly she was desperate to protect him. Graham, as she describes it, ā€œlost it.ā€ I wonā€™t condemn Grahamā€™s reaction.

But I will point out the hypocrisy of people who applaud Graham and yet condemn Baltimoreā€™s protesters, who have been called ā€œthugsā€ and ā€œanimalsā€ and everything but a child of God, when their reactions and Grahamā€™s are one and the same.

Just like Graham, the people in the streets of Baltimore are also scared and fearful and desperate. Graham is using all her might to ā€œdisciplineā€ her child, who is taller and, likely, physically stronger than she is. There are citizens throwing rocks at police officers with guns. These are means of last resort because they have all ā€œlost it.ā€

Itā€™s not a huge leap of logic to see that Grahamā€™s anger and fearā€”along with the resulting violenceā€”and the protestersā€™ anger and fearā€”and resulting violenceā€”come from the same place. AndĀ if you can find the empathy to cheer for Grahamā€™s methods of saving her son, also find some sympathy for the people of Baltimore who are trying to save themselves.

 

Source: The Root MagazineĀ 

Demetria Lucas D’OyleyĀ 

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